Week One: If you want to eat healthy...eat EGYPTIAN!

i was debating making a blog, and since none of you guys responded to my Thailand emails.... SO HERE IS MY FIRST VENTURE INTO BLOGDOMMMMMMMM. how thrilling. if youre new to the hoge narrative i dont really dig correct grammar or stuff like that. get used to it. if you dont like it dont read it. BACK TO DA STORY. sooo arrived in paris to grey skies. so parisian. it was also cold as balls. i lugged my shit literally all the way across CDG because i arrived on the opposite side of the meeting point. got picked up by one of my program directors melissa and two other girls came. for the first couple days we were at the hotel citadines in the 1st arrondissement which is a "hip" area...hahahahah. we did a seine boat tour where i froze to death. that night i went out with a few friends. we wanted to have a casual night in a quiet bar and it ended up being a blackout shit show. first of all we ate dinner. being students we wanted a cheap option. i remembered this place we passed earlier that was egyptian and had 5euro sandwiches. turns out thats only for lunch so it was like 10 euro meals instead. i felt so bad bc my other friends seem to be trying to really stick to a budget. they got like miniature salads....that ended up being a great way to get drunk. basically the restaurant was ridiculous. i ordered what i thought was a vegetarian platter and it ended up being like egyptian hamburger helper. the chef came out and talked to us and was like IF YOU WANT TO EAT HEALTHY EAT EGYPTIAN!!! and he was just talking up this place so much and im pretty sure we were just laughing in his face...how rude. then we started drinking at this place called hideout bar where it was so awkward and we ended up leaving after one drink. i had thought some ppl were leaving a table so we went and sat down. turns out they werent so we were all just crammed in with them. INCONFORTABLE!!!! so we moved to this place that is literally right next to the API center and it turned out to be a hidden gem. it had happy hour until ELEVEN PM. pints were 3,50 and cocktails were 4,50 which in paris is so cheap. they also turned out to have karaoke. it was beautiful...i actually could sing along with some of the songs..ahahha good thing im such a big Dalida fan (for those of you who arent raised by a gay father dalida is the french cher) we had an EXCELLENT time at that place i think its called beho. we made besties with the waiter. we then made our way back to hideout for some reason and had a few more drinks there. we then decided it would be an excellent idea to go to a gay club called banana cafe....bahahahah so much euphemism there. at banana cafe we were all in a really good place which ended up in my chi o friend kate collapsing in the foyer (we still got in) and me making sweet love to the tranny belly dancer (it turned out to be oriental night). i told her that i loved her and that she was magnifique! something about the trannys makes me CRAZAY. then we got late night crepes. i have NO clue what i got in mine but it was beautiful and made me cry. perfect drunk food. next morning we all moved into our respective abodes for the semester. it was a ROUGH day. its hard to lug suitcases when you are hungover and sweating profusely. i am living with a mme marchand-maillet. she lives in the 13th arrondissement which is CHINA TOWNNNN if you didnt know its also chinese new year which means firecrackers and parties everywhere. she lives alone with her cat timon who is very  much like a dog. she has a son and a daughter who are both older. her daughter has her own daughter who is actually staying here tonight. shes only about 5 i think. SO ADORABLEEEEE. she was talking about clowns who "fait du peepee tout nus" that means the clowns pee naked...hahahaha i have no idea where that came from but it cracked my shit up. today i took my placement test. i think it went ok but who knows. i think i placed intermediate but i hope advanced to have fewer troubles with getting credit out of this bullshiz. later this evening we went to the louvre for a tour. it wasnt that enjoyable seeing as my arm was about to fall off from carrying my laptop and my feet were on fire. i plan on going back and pretending to be british so i can get in for free. ill have to watch some accent tutorials online..hahaha. unsure for my plans for the evening but seeing as its almost 1030 i might just pass out. im a creature of the night.